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My boyfriend is unhappy with me but won't break up with me... so what do I do?

My boyfriend is unhappy with me but won't break up with me... so what do I do?

Postby conchobhar29 » Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:35 am

I can tell my boyfriend is unhappy with me. I'm kind of difficult to deal with as I suffer from depression, so I can be happy and easy to get along with one moment, and angry or sad just a few hours later. I've been trying to control it, but it's difficult because of how stressed out I am over my college course work which is extremely difficult this semester. Me and my boyfriend were living together and I paid most of the bills, but didn't want to take out more student loans to keep paying for it, so I moved back in with my alcoholic mother which is also very stressful. He moved back in with his parents, which unlike my mom, they take care of everything for him i.e. provide him with real food, he got an ipad for his birthday, they pay his car insurance, phone bill, ect...
We come from such different socio-economic backgrounds that I don't know if we can really continue in this relationship. He feels that wants are needs, and when I want something I actually need it. He flunked out of community college while I go to the most prestigious University in the state. I know he feels obligated to repay me for all the rent I paid for for the both of us and I think that may be one reason he hasn't left me yet. But I can tell he is unhappy always having to deal with me because of my built up stress, which I sometimes take out on him, and also my bouts of depression.
He is able to live a very relaxed and laid back lifestyle, and he knows I struggle, but I also feel he thinks that since he works and is taking online classes, that I shouldn't complain so much. And I know I shouldn't. But it's hard sometimes not too. I'm his first girlfriend even though hes 21, and we've been together over a year. So I know its tough for him to let go of me, even though I think he thinks that he should. So what should I do?
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My boyfriend is unhappy with me but won't break up with me... so what do I do?

Postby jaryl » Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:48 am

Well, my initail feeling is that you should think a bit more of yourself. You are putting yourself down badly. I suffer from mood swings as I have bipolar mood disorder and I know it can be happy to live with me sometimes. However, when I am not low, I can see that I am actually a good person. I am kind, loving etc etc and I bet you are too.
Don't wait for him to decide he wants to finish it. IF you are sure he is unhappy, then finish it yourself. You are worthy of the love of someone who wants to be with you.
Otherwise, ask him. Tell him you want a completely open and frank discussion. Ask if he is unhappy. Ask if he wants out. Tell him you are thinking of ending the relationship. See what his reaction is. He may be shocked. He may say he loves you regardless.
Whatever you do though, look out for YOUR happiness too.
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My boyfriend is unhappy with me but won't break up with me... so what do I do?

Postby aodhhan54 » Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:55 am

Wow, you have so much going on in this I don't know where to start.

First, it sounds like you are manic-depressive if you have mood swings constantly and, yes, medication can help control this.

Second, you moved back in with your alcoholic mother which I can't see helping you at all. Is there anyone else you can live with?

Third, if you and your bf come from such different worlds that it's hard for you to relate to each other, then perhaps you need to break it off with him.
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